Will Work For Food Franchises Available

WILL WORK FOR FOOD FRANCHISES AVAILABLE

With little or no investment you too can operate a successful branch office in thee panhandle industry. With every new order you will receive easy directions on how to turn those useless food stamps into valuable booze & tobacco coupons. You’ll learn techniques in loitering, scamming & how to avoid the job interview ordeal. We include tips on milking the welfare system along with new gimmicks for creating a convincing cardboard sign.

Explained in detail are the most commercially applied & accepted excuses for not having a job. Here are just a few. “My back hurts.” “Work interferes with my ability to enjoy my detox medication.” “I can only lift about 12 to 40 ounces at a time.” Call now & we’ll send complete instructions on how to use an inactivated cell phone to actually talk to yourself without raising suspicion. Ask about deodorant therapy for maintaining minimal hygiene and tips on never doing laundry again..

SAY GOODBYE TO THAT DEAD END JOB! AN ACORN OPERATOR IS STANDING BY! ACT NOW.. OR LATER.. OR WHENEVER!

Write this number down in case you’re too drunk to remember..
1-800-LAZY-DOE
FOR THOSE WHO SLEEP THROUGH OFFERS LIKE THIS, IT’S NOT TOO LATE!!
CALL 1-800-DOZY-DOE

* Offer not available to those who are chronically employed or given to a sound work ethic!!